questionauthority: (Are you pondering what I'm pondering?)
[A: 726 Anderson Lane - BACKDATED TO THE DAY AFTER PROM.

Riddle me this: Who's as green as his suit and just woke up with the worst hangover ever? Answer: Edward Nigma, of course. Family members and unexpected visitors will find the Riddler downstairs at the breakfast table, dressed in a green bathrobe, half-heartedly fumbling with his daily crossword while he picks at a plate of eggs. He looks incredibly groggy, tired, and somewhat foul-tempered.]


[B: Mayfield High School - TODAY. It appears as though your favorite Ethics teacher is looking a little bit better after a long weekend and some time to recover. On the chalkboard, there appears to be a hastily drawn picture of a man with a long face and a garish smile.]

A dangerous criminal has been apprehended. Caught red-handed. He's responsible for the deaths of countless innocents. Question: How do you proceed? Do you take an eye for an eye and serve him a death penalty? It only makes sense, doesn't it? Especially if you consider the possibility that he may escape from his prison. And it's true. He could certainly escape and kill again. And again.

For the safety of these innocents, and for the good of the people, it may be worthwhile to consider a utilitarian approach. That is to say, you would subscribe to a system of ethics in which you would seek to increase the safety, happiness, and well-being of all mankind to maximum levels. But...

[He draws up another picture on the chalkboard of a cloaked figure, shrouded in a long, flowing cape.]

...there are those who might disagree with you. Those self-righteous radicals who feel as though they should follow the rules. Whose rules, exactly? Their rules. Their morals are absolute. They simply can't be compromised. Even if executing a murderer and a madman will maximize our well-being, murder is still murder to them. Nothing changes that. This is a deontological approach, class. And the ends never justify the means to them.

...so riddle me this. What would you do, if you had a say in this criminal's fate?

[Around Town:

There's a good chance that, after school, you'll find the Riddler on an investigation. He'll be found in one of three locations---

C: Sniffing around the Zemekis Corps Office Building, trying to get a grasp on what exactly it is that people do here.

D: In the Downtown area, glancing into windows and occasionally taking notes on a small notepad.

E: At the Mayfield Hospital, to answer some questions. A hospital in Mayfield seems rather arbitrary, doesn't it? Especially considering that death isn't even permanent. Why would one even be here, then, if that's the case?]
questionauthority: (Stike a pose)
[It being several days after Eddie first landed here, he's getting more used to the phones.]

Hopefully I've filtered this properly.

Question: When isn't it a good idea to accept gifts from a post office in a strange town? Answer: When it costs you an arm and a leg.

...perhaps that was in bad taste. Let me start over.

Good evening, Mayfield. Although I doubt many of you are enjoying the weekend. Considering this little... exchange at the post office that I've been hearing about, anyway. Still, I suppose that's why it helps to trust your instincts and look before you leap. ...though I suppose my cane would've been nice.

Ahem. Anyway, I believe I'm starting to understand just what everyone means when they say that strange things happen here. Naturally, I intend to get to the bottom of this.
They can't honestly expect to get away with this grotesque crime.

Should anyone require my assistance, then there's no question who you should call. For I, Edward Nigma, am on the case!

[Ed didn't touch the box tops for a few reasons: A) He didn't trust them, and B) He's pretty much flat broke anyway)]

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Edward Nigma | The Riddler

September 2021

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