questionauthority: (Are you pondering what I'm pondering?)
[A: 726 Anderson Lane - BACKDATED TO THE DAY AFTER PROM.

Riddle me this: Who's as green as his suit and just woke up with the worst hangover ever? Answer: Edward Nigma, of course. Family members and unexpected visitors will find the Riddler downstairs at the breakfast table, dressed in a green bathrobe, half-heartedly fumbling with his daily crossword while he picks at a plate of eggs. He looks incredibly groggy, tired, and somewhat foul-tempered.]


[B: Mayfield High School - TODAY. It appears as though your favorite Ethics teacher is looking a little bit better after a long weekend and some time to recover. On the chalkboard, there appears to be a hastily drawn picture of a man with a long face and a garish smile.]

A dangerous criminal has been apprehended. Caught red-handed. He's responsible for the deaths of countless innocents. Question: How do you proceed? Do you take an eye for an eye and serve him a death penalty? It only makes sense, doesn't it? Especially if you consider the possibility that he may escape from his prison. And it's true. He could certainly escape and kill again. And again.

For the safety of these innocents, and for the good of the people, it may be worthwhile to consider a utilitarian approach. That is to say, you would subscribe to a system of ethics in which you would seek to increase the safety, happiness, and well-being of all mankind to maximum levels. But...

[He draws up another picture on the chalkboard of a cloaked figure, shrouded in a long, flowing cape.]

...there are those who might disagree with you. Those self-righteous radicals who feel as though they should follow the rules. Whose rules, exactly? Their rules. Their morals are absolute. They simply can't be compromised. Even if executing a murderer and a madman will maximize our well-being, murder is still murder to them. Nothing changes that. This is a deontological approach, class. And the ends never justify the means to them.

...so riddle me this. What would you do, if you had a say in this criminal's fate?

[Around Town:

There's a good chance that, after school, you'll find the Riddler on an investigation. He'll be found in one of three locations---

C: Sniffing around the Zemekis Corps Office Building, trying to get a grasp on what exactly it is that people do here.

D: In the Downtown area, glancing into windows and occasionally taking notes on a small notepad.

E: At the Mayfield Hospital, to answer some questions. A hospital in Mayfield seems rather arbitrary, doesn't it? Especially considering that death isn't even permanent. Why would one even be here, then, if that's the case?]
questionauthority: (Recovering)
[Well, Edward's back from Westport, and he's definitely a little worse for the wear. This hasn't exactly been a very fun couple of days for him. As soon as he gets home, he shrugs off his coat, hangs his hat and his cane on the rack, and makes his way to the phone.]

[Public Call, standard filters in play]


This is Edward Nigma. I'm... back from Westport. I haven't heard too many things about what happened here in my absence, but I can't imagine it was very pleasant. Those of you in my Ethics class will no doubt be relieved to hear that I'm canceling tomorrow's class. Perhaps I might cancel a few classes next week as well, if I'm not fully recovered by then.

Your assignment for this weekend is to write a page or so on... Hmm. "What do you feel is the worst decision you've ever made?" ...that'll work. You can just leave them on my desk at school, if you wish; I'll collect them and grade them over the weekend.

[Private Call, filtered to the Legion of Doom]

I trust you're well, ladies and gentlemen?

...I'll be honest with you. This angel business has caused a major setback in our plans. If possible, I’d like to call another meeting to order at some point within the next two weeks. As an organization... we need to give ourselves more structure.

As for our meeting place? Well, I won’t hesitate to admit that my basement was not a Grade-A rendezvous point for our location. Still... I’d say I’m smart enough to have already found a much better spot. I’m a real class act, after all. Aren’t I?

[Action, for the Death House. Susan, Slugger, Terezi, or anyone else who may have crashed there during the angel takeover, feel free to run into Edward as he does his best to recuperate. He takes a shower and shaves his face, then comes downstairs in warm, clean clothes to make himself a massive lunch.]

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Edward Nigma | The Riddler

September 2021

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