IC CONTACT | mayfield_rpg

[questionauthority]

"Edward Nigma speaking. Riddle me this: What is it that demands an answer, yet never asks a question? Answer: A telephone, of course. Unfortunately for you, I've no further answer to give, as I'm currently occupied. Leave a message and, if you're lucky, I may do you the honor of returning your call. Ta-ta!"

Comments

[buildstherobots]

He didn't do anything.

[Technically true.]

I assume he'd act if he had a bit of blackmail, yes? What does he do when he's not just dosing people?

[questionauthority]

Blackmail? Well, I wouldn't put it past him. Mostly, he keeps to himself. Blathering on and on about nonsensical compounds and nursery rhymes and Stephen King while he stirs that cauldron of his.

[Painting a very lovely, unbiased picture for you, Dist.]

[buildstherobots]

Well... I assume he doesn't want anything to do with me now, so I probably don't have anything to worry about. He's not the type to scheme when it comes to things beyond terrifying people?

[questionauthority]

Cheap scares are the only thing he's good for, really. Usually.

[buildstherobots]

Usually.

Well, it's good to know I don't have anything to worry about, then. Excellent.

[questionauthority]

...Implying you would have had something to worry about to begin with. You said he hadn't done anything.

[buildstherobots]

...That's right. He didn't.

[Time to backpedal, Dist. You're typically so good at that.]

[questionauthority]

...What did you do, then?

[buildstherobots]

...Nothing that's any of your business! I'm not telling you and you'd never guess anyway!

[questionauthority]

What could you have possibly...?

[Wait. Valentine's Day wasn't that long ago...]

No. You didn't.

[buildstherobots]

[Nope. Literally yesterday.]

Didn't what?

[questionauthority]

You were fraternizing with the enemy, weren't you?

[buildstherobots]

I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about!!

[questionauthority]

I'm quite certain you do.

[buildstherobots]

I don't! We definitely didn't do anything together so you can just put that thought out of your mind right now!

[questionauthority]

You kissed him, didn't you?

[buildstherobots]

[...Oh. Oh, that's a much lighter assumption.]

Yes. Yes exactly. That is precisely what happened.

[questionauthority]

And then you took it a step further.

[He wasn't done, Disto.]

[buildstherobots]

[Yeah, that's a slight whimper.]

What do you think happened?

[questionauthority]

You slept with him.

[Not a question.]

[buildstherobots]

[WHY IS IT NOT A QUESTION EDWARD HE CAN AT LEAST REPLY TO THAT IN THE NEGATIVE

Instead, he makes a kind of whine, much like an upset dog.]

It wasn't my fault!

[questionauthority]

[There's an incredibly sharp intake of breath as Edward scrunches up his face in distaste.]

Goddamn it, Dist! Why the hell are you telling me?!

[buildstherobots]

You're the one who pushed me! If you'd just answered my questions and not pried you never would have known! I just didn't want him to go off and paint me as a slut all over town!

[1/2]

[questionauthority]

You're worried about that?! [A sharp bark of disbelieving laughter.] Come on.

He'd be too scared to do anything like---

[questionauthority]

[...wait a second. That's it. That's the answer to the latest riddle he's been trying to solve.

"How do you scare a Scarecrow?"]

I mean, I can't imagine he'd have anything negative to say.