IC CONTACT | mayfield_rpg

[questionauthority]

"Edward Nigma speaking. Riddle me this: What is it that demands an answer, yet never asks a question? Answer: A telephone, of course. Unfortunately for you, I've no further answer to give, as I'm currently occupied. Leave a message and, if you're lucky, I may do you the honor of returning your call. Ta-ta!"

Comments

[questionauthority]

[There's an incredibly sharp intake of breath as Edward scrunches up his face in distaste.]

Goddamn it, Dist! Why the hell are you telling me?!

[buildstherobots]

You're the one who pushed me! If you'd just answered my questions and not pried you never would have known! I just didn't want him to go off and paint me as a slut all over town!

[1/2]

[questionauthority]

You're worried about that?! [A sharp bark of disbelieving laughter.] Come on.

He'd be too scared to do anything like---

[questionauthority]

[...wait a second. That's it. That's the answer to the latest riddle he's been trying to solve.

"How do you scare a Scarecrow?"]

I mean, I can't imagine he'd have anything negative to say.

[buildstherobots]

[With a tawdry scandal involving drugs and gay men? Awfully typical for a "riddle."]

Then do I have to worry about anything from you?

[questionauthority]

[Perhaps it could also serve to answer the same question about certain politicians.]

What sort of question is that? You don't trust me?

[buildstherobots]

Well right now I'm not so sure! Obviously you don't know about my own prowess, but--

[Okay. Dist. Cut that thought off now.]

[questionauthority]

[No, Dist. Please continue.]

Oh, don't I? I mean, I wouldn't want to underestimate you...

[That's the best thing about having a sassy gay friend who's basically you in pink. You know alllllll their weaknesses.]

[buildstherobots]

Of course not. I'm fantastic; I practically did him a favor.

[questionauthority]

I'm sure you did. That's likely the most action he's seen since... Hmm. Come to think of it, I'm not even sure I remember when the last time even was.

[buildstherobots]

Oh? Well, I did most of the work for him; it was clear he'd never been with a man before so it was only better that I steer.

[questionauthority]

You must have had the patience of a saint. He isn't always the fastest learner.

[Yes, Dist. Keep giving Edward ammunition.]

[buildstherobots]

[Keep complimenting him and he will provide all you need.]

It's easy when you top.

[questionauthority]

And just how easy would you say he was?

[buildstherobots]

Oh, he practically jumped me! It was clear he wanted me; who am I to deny?

[questionauthority]

How very generous of you.

[buildstherobots]

I'm a naturally giving person.

[questionauthority]

Of course you are. Just as Jonathan is a naturally receiving one.

[Now that he can get past the gross idea of the Scarecrow having sex to begin with, this is actually a pretty fun conversation.]

[buildstherobots]

Well, his body wasn't quite ready; I had to ride him. You don't simply begin doing these things, you know.

[questionauthority]

[...okay on second thought that's a mental image Edward really doesn't need.]

...I wouldn't know, personally.

[buildstherobots]

Oh, no, of course not. It's entirely out of your expertise; ignorance is expected.

Household action

[hintcoinplz]

[After Edward finishes up some phone call, Luke slips into the room. Everyone in the family has been fairly busy lately and therefore scarce, which only makes sense since the declaration of war on their household.

Luke's also felt a lot of tension that's been going around the house, and when he spots Edward he's eager to have some kind of conversation that doesn't involve war, Nazis, or other serious matters. Hopefully his not!father is feeling the same way today.]

Oh, hello Mr. Nigma! Busy today?

[questionauthority]

[Excellent timing, Luke. Truth be told, Edward's feeling exactly the same way. He's pretty sick of thinking about the Major, and Enigma's recent permadroning seems to have given him a much-needed jumpstart, encouraging him to shape up his act and work on his potential for paternity. So he'll hang up the phone and return the boy's inquiry with a grin.]

Not exceptionally busy, no. Why?

[hintcoinplz]

[And that grin gives Luke a little bit of relief. Looks like nothing bad was going on at the moment, it seems.]

Oh, I was just looking to get out of the house for a little while. Did you want to come with me?

[questionauthority]

I suppose I can tag along. A bit of fresh air always does the mind good.

[He migrates down the hallway to take his hat off the rack, though he leaves his coat hanging. It's been pretty decent weather as of late. His hand overs over the cane stand by the front door, contemplating which to bring along with him before finally deciding on the cane on the far right. He takes it in hand with a bit of a flourish.]

Shall we be going?