Riddle 026: Raining on Prom Night

[questionauthority]

[A: 726 Anderson Lane - BACKDATED TO THE DAY AFTER PROM.

Riddle me this: Who's as green as his suit and just woke up with the worst hangover ever? Answer: Edward Nigma, of course. Family members and unexpected visitors will find the Riddler downstairs at the breakfast table, dressed in a green bathrobe, half-heartedly fumbling with his daily crossword while he picks at a plate of eggs. He looks incredibly groggy, tired, and somewhat foul-tempered.]

[B: Mayfield High School - TODAY. It appears as though your favorite Ethics teacher is looking a little bit better after a long weekend and some time to recover. On the chalkboard, there appears to be a hastily drawn picture of a man with a long face and a garish smile.]

A dangerous criminal has been apprehended. Caught red-handed. He's responsible for the deaths of countless innocents. Question: How do you proceed? Do you take an eye for an eye and serve him a death penalty? It only makes sense, doesn't it? Especially if you consider the possibility that he may escape from his prison. And it's true. He could certainly escape and kill again. And again.

For the safety of these innocents, and for the good of the people, it may be worthwhile to consider a utilitarian approach. That is to say, you would subscribe to a system of ethics in which you would seek to increase the safety, happiness, and well-being of all mankind to maximum levels. But...

[He draws up another picture on the chalkboard of a cloaked figure, shrouded in a long, flowing cape.]

...there are those who might disagree with you. Those self-righteous radicals who feel as though they should follow the rules. Whose rules, exactly? Their rules. Their morals are absolute. They simply can't be compromised. Even if executing a murderer and a madman will maximize our well-being, murder is still murder to them. Nothing changes that. This is a deontological approach, class. And the ends never justify the means to them.

...so riddle me this. What would you do, if you had a say in this criminal's fate?

[Around Town:

There's a good chance that, after school, you'll find the Riddler on an investigation. He'll be found in one of three locations---

C: Sniffing around the Zemekis Corps Office Building, trying to get a grasp on what exactly it is that people do here.

D: In the Downtown area, glancing into windows and occasionally taking notes on a small notepad.

E: At the Mayfield Hospital, to answer some questions. A hospital in Mayfield seems rather arbitrary, doesn't it? Especially considering that death isn't even permanent. Why would one even be here, then, if that's the case?]

Comments

[glowing-science.livejournal.com]

[Ema looks at each of the men in turn. Edward probably wouldn't have the gall to lie to her--not after everything the two have been through. But Bruce doesn't seem to be lying, either; especially since he's addressing Edward and not her. And, given the complete and utter mess that space and time are here in Mayfield, it's possible that neither is lying. Harley had mentioned different versions of the same universe, for one, or Bruce could be from before the cooperation ever happened. Scientifically implausible as they are, they're actual possibilities that follow pre-established patterns.

Therefore, the young scientist remains quiet, twisting a bit of hair between her fingers as she waits for Edward's response to Bruce's denial.]

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[And here Edward thought he was the one who'd suffered from amnesia not so long ago. What are you doing, Batman? You know full well about---

...unless he doesn't. What if he's from the same world as Harley? Where the Riddler never once reformed? It makes sense. But it isn't exactly the kind of thing that they can confirm right now, is it? No, for now, Eddie just offers the billionaire playboy a sheepish grin and a laugh before looking to Ema. His expression looks a little bit more serious.]

It's, ah. It's funny that I happened to run into you, you know. We need to talk.

[Though it's clear from the way he says it that he doesn't mean right this instant. For once, Edward doesn't want to make a scene, either.]

[beyondthecowl.livejournal.com]

[Meanwhile, the wheels are turning in Bruce's head. If this has something to do with prom night . . .

And suddenly, Bruce is wondering about Ema. Well, there were plenty of women back home who were attracted to the "bad-boy" types of men, so it really shouldn't be all that surprising. Still, curiosity does get the better of him, and--]

Are you two, ah . . . ? [He pauses.] Pardon me. None of my business.

[No need to make things more awkward than they already were. Right now, he's wishing he had his costume and that someone would conveniently rob a bank or something, so he could make a ninja exit.]

[glowing-science.livejournal.com]

Are we...? [It takes a few second for the implications for that question to actually sink in. When it does, Ema shakes her head and sighs.] It's complicated. But no, we're not a couple.

[She shoots Edward a brief glance, hoping that he doesn't get bent out of shape by the answer. There's more that she can say--more that she wants to say, actually--but not here. Not in front of Bruce Wayne. Or anyone else, for that matter.

Luckily, Edward seems to want to talk about things just as much as she does. She's actually impressed at his restraint, since it does have the effect of making this interaction slightly less awkward for her. However, it's still too uncomfortable for her liking, so Ema decides to quickly extricate herself from the conversation.]

We do need to talk. Later. I'll give you a call when I'm off work and we'll find a time to meet. Until then, I have rounds to finish.
I'll get those signatures later and let you two talk.

[She looks between the two men, giving each a slight nod of farewell before walking off.]

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[Before Edward can even answer Bruce's incredibly tactless question, Ema's already stepped forward to respond. And though he doesn't get bent out of shape about it, he can feel his chest coil uncomfortably all the same.]

Right. ...so long, then.

[At least she still wants to talk to him. And she got the message that he didn't intend to whisk her out of here to talk right now. All the same, the fact that now she's leaving him to converse with his archnemesis doesn't help matters much. Once she's out of earshot, Eddie crosses his arms, glaring daggers at the Capeless Crusader.]

Smooth. What the hell was that all about?

[beyondthecowl.livejournal.com]

[And Edward is rewarded with a very intense Bat-glare.]

Don't you ever talk to me like that again. [Full-fledged Bat-growl, with a more menacing than usual tone to it. Keep in mind, Eddie, this guy breaks people's bones on a regular basis.]

I'd like some answers, myself. Since when did you ever willingly help me out? Why would you even want to?

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[Oh, stuff that Bat-growl somewhere else, Bruce. You just embarrassed him in front of his not!girlfriend.]

Forgetful much, Orphan Boy? Or have you suffered one too many knocks to that thick skull? There's got to be a reason that so-called brain of yours is failing you right now.

[He frowns. Insults are getting him nowhere. The Riddler has a theory, and it's time to see if his hunch is right.]

Question: I'm still a criminal where you come from, aren't I? And that never changed, even once?

[beyondthecowl.livejournal.com]

[Bruce could easily uppercut you right now, Eddie. You are treading on some very thin ice.]

Looks like you're the one with the memory failure. Is it so smart to insult the person who has routinely broken your kneecaps? [He just lets that question hang in the air for a moment.]

Insinuating that you've reformed once before? Well, if it happened, it didn't happen in my world. [Note, however, that he isn't saying it couldn't happen. In his world, the Riddler gets stabbed by the Clock King and ends up in a coma after working for him.]

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[There's a tightening of Eddie's jaw and a brief flicker of fear in his eyes. Point very well taken, Bats.]

...I thought as much. You could be from the same world as Harley, then. [If not another world altogether.] In my Gotham, though, you'd be pleased to hear that I reformed. Got a bit of a nasty bump, woke up from a nice, long coma, and decided my criminal days were over. From that point, I became...

[He extends his hands outward, for dramatic effect.]

Edward Nigma, Private Investigator.

[Note that he doesn't actually say that he's still reformed, Bats.]