questionauthority | Riddle 015: Even More Puzzling...

[First, a public call, filtered from drones/Grady/Mayor/Postman/etc.]

Riddle me this. When you have it, you'll want to share it, but if you share it, you'll no longer have it.

It's a secret, ladies and gentlemen, and it seems as though the Mailman's incapable of keeping one. I know others have said it before, but come now. Surely we're all smart enough not to victimize one another. Many have their reasons for wanting to return home, but I'm sure others have their reasons for wanting to stay here as well. Strange as that may be.

...though that is rather curious. Why would one decide to stay in a place like Mayfield?

[Then, a private call, filtered to Officer Grady.]

This is Edward Nigma. Are you in, Boss?

[Then, an action, for his housemates and whoever else happens to visit. It looks like Edward's been fortunate enough to get back one of his old outfits in the mail, along with his good ol' cane. Believe it or not, it's actually surprisingly comfy and warm. Almost like long-johns. Feel free to walk in on him and comment on his god-awful fashion sense.]

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That....would be the greatest thing ever.

I'd pay good money to see that.

Oh, hey. Do you know about this crazy lady with the pink smoke? She say's I fought her before, but I've never even seen her in my life!

Oh, her.

She's just some dopey Batgirl fangirl. "Misfit," I believe her name was.

Yeah! That's her.

[Mock whisper]

I think she's insane!

And if she's insane by our standards, then you know she is.

I know! I said hi to her when she got here, and she started yellin' at me!

...were you wearing your costume?

Yeah?

It's possible she may have simply recognized you as one of Batgirl's enemies.

...from what she said, it seemed as though she was Batgirl. Briefly.

Huh?

When the heck was she Batgirl? .....I thought there was only one of those!

There's more than--- Right. I'd forgotten you weren't from the same time as I.

[Or the same universe, for that matter, but he doesn't realize this quite yet.]

There's been several Batgirls by now. Different Robins, as well. A different Batman, even.

......

What?

[She's...actually been givin' this some thought]

.....um Eddie? Do you remember ....why you became a criminal?

Well, I have my theories as to who it is, but it certainly isn't the one you or I know.

[He pauses.]

...that's an odd question to ask. [He decides on the short version.] I was a child prodigy, though my father never thought so, and I wanted to prove to him and everyone else that I was a genius.

.....

No. I mean the real reason.

Like. How Crane was trying to ruin his old university an' Ivy was tryn' ta kill Harvey....an Jervis had that Alice girl.

[She knows how you became a criminal but she's ...getting suspicious.]

...what on earth are you talking about?

....

I'm talk'n about our pasts.

What were you doing before Batman started chasin' you!

Ivy worked at a perfume company an' she tried to kill Harvey, before he was Two-Face for killin' a bunch of plants! And Crane was kicked out of University for stuff and then tried to get revenge!

And you worked with games but one of your bosses ripped you off and you wanted revenge on them...

[Getting freaked out. People found it easy to talk to her, so she'd heard pretty much everyone's story. Why don't you know this.]

A game company?

...well, I had a game show at one point, but I never worked for a game company.

......

Yes you did.

[Okay, who the hell are you.]

Do you remember the time we took over Arkham? We got Jervis to use his cards...and put Batman on trial?...

...that's not how it happened. Joker had taken hostages and staged something, yes, but he never put Batman on trial.

From what I'd heard, one of the doctors there had gone insane and thought Batman was some kind of... demon?

.....No.

We got Jervis to use his cards on the guards and we kidnapped some lawyer who hated Batman, an' Batman. And then we made her defend batman in our court! You were there! In the jury with me, an Ivy an Crane...and Mr. J was the judge!