Riddle 014: Christmas Angst [Voice/Action]

[questionauthority]

[Edward comes downstairs on Christmas Morning, wading through the sea of cats that had seemingly filled up the house. Coming across a bunch of presents beneath the tree in green wrapping paper, he smirks. He takes a look at the note, tossing it backwards and tearing into his presents like a little kid. He pulls out his cane. A new revolver. A Rubiks' Cube. And... Batman's utility belt? And a working bat credit-card with the name "Bruce Wayne" on it. He chuckles, sliding it into his pocket and pulling the belt on. But as soon as he snaps the belt around his waist, he feels... strange. Different. He remembers...

Bang! His father keeling over in the alleyway. His mother screams.

BANG! His mother tumbling down, pearls flying everywhere. Rain falling down. Masking Edward's tears on that fateful night.

He looks at the gun beneath the tree once again and his eyes widen in fear. This is the kind of weapon that took his parents away from him... With a sudden, vehement motion, he hurtles it out the window into the snow. He then stands straight. Resolute. A stern look on his face. Eddie knows what must be done. He strides back upstairs. Puts on his best green suit. Black sunglasses he's picked up in town. His trademark bowler hat. He marches back downstairs and out the door, examining his new Riddler-Mobile in the driveway. It's elaborate. Tricked out. It'll get the job done. He climbs in, fastens his seatbelt, and tears off down Anderson Lane.

He takes note that there is a phone installed within the car's console, and he picks it up, speaking with a much gruffer, throatier voice than usual.]

Enjoying your Christmas, Mayfield? Some of us aren't. Some of us have had innocent people taken away. Forever. By whom, you might ask? Nothing more than a common criminal. A miserable, unrelenting, unforgiving coward with a gun, who thinks he has something to prove. Who thinks he can strike fear into the hearts of innocents. Well. Now it's my turn. To all you criminal scum of Mayfield. Your days are numbered. And to those hardworking innocents, trapped and frightened? Your new guardian has arrived. 

[He is vengeance. He is the night. He is Edward Nigma, the Goddamn Riddler. He'll be patrolling around the town in his new Riddler-Mobile, and will be looking, just looking for people to punish. You can also speak to him via the carphone.]

Comments

[knightiszero.livejournal.com]

Don't you think you're speaking out of line?

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

...Kururugi. I expected you, of all people, to understand.

[knightiszero.livejournal.com]

I do understand but there's no point in scaring everybody. Not everyone will understand.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

The innocents deserve better than this. Especially today.

[knightiszero.livejournal.com]

That doesn't mean you need to threaten everyone. I'm sure they don't all share the same views on who's innocent and who isn't.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

My threat is only intended for those who cause trouble.

late!tag, sorry

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

[Whenever Edward gets back from his crusade against evil, he will find his stocking stuffed with socks. Socks of every color, but mostly green. (Nothing with question marks on it, though. Sorry dude.)

While he's on the streets, however, he may find his "son" tearing around a street corner at break-neck speed on his "new" skates. Slugger seems to have very little concern for motorists that might be out using the road and has already earned himself a handful of honking car horns.]

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[Eddie returns home from his crazy, crazy day, wading through the living room full of cats and finding... socks? Not sure if want?]

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

[Hearing someone enter the front door, Slugger sneaks through the house to see who's there and finds Edward pondering dubiously over the socks.]

For you.

[A grin. Eddie's old socks were thrown into the fireplace days ago in order to replace them with new ones. This is how Slugger does gifts.

Anyway. Care to talk about your day, Daddy?]

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[He's definitely a bit stunned by this. Slugger? Being nice? Merry Christmas to him indeed. At least his day's starting to look a bit better already... If that's even possible.]

Thank you, Slugger.

[He sighs, making his way gingerly to the couch and having himself a nice, well-deserved sit-down. Please don't ask me how my day was please don't ask me how my day was please please please.]

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

[His gaze follows Eddie to the couch and Slugger comes to lean on the back of a chair opposite it.

He can tell by the sigh how put-upon Eddie must be feeling right now. Perhaps, just this once, he'll spare you the trouble of--]

So what happened?

[Never mind. Too curious.]

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[Damn it, Slugger. He looks up at the inquisitive kid, trying to will himself to lie. Just lie to him. Tell him nothing happened, tell him---]

I may have run into some trouble today.

[God. DAMMIT.]

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

[Fool. His eyes are all agleam with malignant curiosity now.]

How bad?

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

A madman. With a gun.

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

How did you escape?

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

...I had to defend myself, of course.

Sorry for late. =(

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

Close the damn door -- oh god go away get off!

[As Edward opens the bedroom door on his way back from the Christmas tree, the sea of cats floods into the room and begins to drown Susan.]

S'fine!

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[Startled, he quickly shoves the door closed, stranding a few cats outside the bedroom. He then rushes to Susan, shooing the cats away.]

Go on, stop that!

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

[After a lot of piteous meowing, the Cat Sea parts to release Susan from their suffocating waves of fur. She does not look pleased.]

None of you had better expect to be fed.

I believe it's time to migrate to the bathroom. Find me when this preposterous holiday is over.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[Edward glances at Susan once the felines have fled. Gives her a look.]

So these cats were meant for you? I was wondering what they were doing here.

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

Annoying me, of course.

[Wading through, Susan makes it to the bed and sits down with a muffled noise of annoyance. Edward may notice the letter (http://mayfield-mods.livejournal.com/48852.html?thread=1362900#t1362900) she received from Santa Claus on the floor where she'd abandoned it to the Plague of Kittens.]

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[He glances to the note on the floor and picks it up, giving it a look.]

...a bit of a harsh sense of humor, this "Santa Claus" has.

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

Utterly hilarious.

[Susan folds her arms and shoots him a look.]

Well? What did you receive? That silly belt?

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

That and the car outside. Among other things.

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

Don't get in the car. It'll turn out to be a trap and you'll be eaten by a machine.