Riddle 014: Christmas Angst [Voice/Action]

[questionauthority]

[Edward comes downstairs on Christmas Morning, wading through the sea of cats that had seemingly filled up the house. Coming across a bunch of presents beneath the tree in green wrapping paper, he smirks. He takes a look at the note, tossing it backwards and tearing into his presents like a little kid. He pulls out his cane. A new revolver. A Rubiks' Cube. And... Batman's utility belt? And a working bat credit-card with the name "Bruce Wayne" on it. He chuckles, sliding it into his pocket and pulling the belt on. But as soon as he snaps the belt around his waist, he feels... strange. Different. He remembers...

Bang! His father keeling over in the alleyway. His mother screams.

BANG! His mother tumbling down, pearls flying everywhere. Rain falling down. Masking Edward's tears on that fateful night.

He looks at the gun beneath the tree once again and his eyes widen in fear. This is the kind of weapon that took his parents away from him... With a sudden, vehement motion, he hurtles it out the window into the snow. He then stands straight. Resolute. A stern look on his face. Eddie knows what must be done. He strides back upstairs. Puts on his best green suit. Black sunglasses he's picked up in town. His trademark bowler hat. He marches back downstairs and out the door, examining his new Riddler-Mobile in the driveway. It's elaborate. Tricked out. It'll get the job done. He climbs in, fastens his seatbelt, and tears off down Anderson Lane.

He takes note that there is a phone installed within the car's console, and he picks it up, speaking with a much gruffer, throatier voice than usual.]

Enjoying your Christmas, Mayfield? Some of us aren't. Some of us have had innocent people taken away. Forever. By whom, you might ask? Nothing more than a common criminal. A miserable, unrelenting, unforgiving coward with a gun, who thinks he has something to prove. Who thinks he can strike fear into the hearts of innocents. Well. Now it's my turn. To all you criminal scum of Mayfield. Your days are numbered. And to those hardworking innocents, trapped and frightened? Your new guardian has arrived. 

[He is vengeance. He is the night. He is Edward Nigma, the Goddamn Riddler. He'll be patrolling around the town in his new Riddler-Mobile, and will be looking, just looking for people to punish. You can also speak to him via the carphone.]

Comments

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

Utterly hilarious.

[Susan folds her arms and shoots him a look.]

Well? What did you receive? That silly belt?

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

That and the car outside. Among other things.

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

Don't get in the car. It'll turn out to be a trap and you'll be eaten by a machine.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

A bit late on the warning, I'd say. Don't worry. As you can see, I'm perfectly fine.

[Johan, on the other hand...]

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

Well, something was a trap. Don't tell me there wasn't anything unusual about your presents at all.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

...actually, there was.

[He unsnaps the belt, placing it on the corner of the bed for her to investigate, should she so desire.]

They made me act as though I was someone else.

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

[She doesn't, but she casts a sidelong glance in its direction.]

And who would that be?

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

An old friend of mine from back home. A bit of a lunatic, really. When he was just a child, he lost both of his parents to crime, and so he declared vengeance on all criminals. The belt, the car, and the gadgets? Because of them, I had thought I'd lost my parents in a similar way. And I responded in a similar way.

Fortunately, I was able to snap out of it.

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

You didn't get yourself into too much trouble, I hope. But it does appear I missed some prime entertainment.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

...define "too much trouble."

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

. . .

You're still in one piece, so I assume you haven't been killed. Did you give in to any of those lunatic compulsions?

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

Let's just say I'm still alive and be done with it?

[Please don't get mad.]

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

[Edward gets a Look.
This is not an exasperated look or even a slightly annoyed look. It wasn't particularly threatening, either. No, it was simply a Look. A Look that you never wanted to see again if you could help it, but nothing more than a calm, collected look all the same.]

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

...in any case, it's none of your concern.

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

I rather think it will be my concern when some madman shows up at the door demanding to see you for whatever crimes you committed just now.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

Why so quick to jump to conclusions, Susan?

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

You've told me, actually.

[Susan doesn't jump to conclusions so much as she makes them uncannily accurately. Whatever criminals he just confronted were hopefully the type that dealt with mundane crimes like fraud.]

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

That--- I---

[He pauses, shutting his mouth. Damn it, why does she ALWAYS win.]

...he had a gun.

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

All the more reason for you to have stayed well away from him.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

He was killing people. I'd felt... compelled to stop him.

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

Did you?

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[He looks a bit uncomfortable, but...]

Yes.

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

[She's so surprised her prediction was so accurate, but she doesn't show it.]

Well, then. Warn me whenever he comes to seek revenge and I'll leave the house for the two of you to squabble.