Riddle 013: Spreading That Christmas Cheer [Action]

[questionauthority]

[Christmas Time is coming! Today, you'll probably find Edward in one of three locations.

A. At the Christmas Village, dressed in his little "Helper Elf" costume and freezing furiously. He does not look at all happy to be there.

B. Wandering through the town, dressed in a warm, green pea-coat, a jade scarf wrapped around his neck, just admiring the winter scenery.

C. Back at home, meticulously setting something up on the dining room table. Once he's finished, he'll call upstairs.]

Slugger? Susan? I'd like it if you could come to the dining room, please. ...Susan, you're free to call upon your Grandfather, too, if you like.

Comments

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

[Slugger reaches in and takes seven little tile things (what is this even)

After setting them up...] Now what.

[likescats.livejournal.com]

[Takes some as well.]

WHAT LANGUAGE IS ENGLISH?

[Completely serious.]

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[First, to Slugger.]

Now we pick another random letter from the bag. Whoever has the letter closest to the beginning of the alphabet goes first. Then---

[He suddenly realizes what Death just asked.]

...you can't be serious. The language we're speaking in right now.

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

[He draws from the bag once more, glances down at the letter, then at Eddie.]

It's a Q.

[likescats.livejournal.com]

I THOUGHT WE WERE SPEAKING MORPORKIAN.

[Also known as English.]

I HAVE AN N

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

Mor...por---No. At least, I wasn't---

[He groans.]

Look, I'm going to pick a letter, then I'm going off to find a dictionary. If any of these... Morporkian words don't show up in this dictionary, they won't count.

[And reaching in to pick a letter.]

J. Well, it appears I'll be starting, then Death, then Slugger. And then we continue at the top from there. But first I think I'll go search for a dictionary.

[And leaving the table. Feel free to talk smack about him behind his back.]

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

[Turns to Death with a semi-sour expression.

My "father" is fucking weird.

He might also be peeking into the bag of letters and possibly taking a few...]

[likescats.livejournal.com]

[Looking at a tile]

....WHY DO ONLY ENGLISH WORDS COUNT.

[Glances over at Slugger]

HE DOES SEEM RATHER ODD.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[still rummaging in the other room]

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

Because it's Mayfield. Everything is American English.

[Or that's his guess, anyway. Slugger nods in agreement with the second statement.]

Truth.

[He's idly arranging some letters on the board. When Edward returns it'll spell O SHIT in a vertical line.]

[likescats.livejournal.com]

HOW OPPRESSIVE.

[Death figures he might as well go next. The S will have a CYTHE next to it.]

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

Spell properly, Slugger.

[Having appeared from behind, Susan places an H next to the O and shifts the slates to leave a blank in between.]

What are you doing?

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

[Slugger grins at the correction.]

Waiting for Edward.

[He'll add an L and an F to Death's E. Edward will know the significance.]

[likescats.livejournal.com]

APPARENTLY THIS IS A GAME OF SOME SORT.

I THINK YOU WOULD LIKE IT. IT'S ABOUT SPELLING.

okay, here it goes

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[And wouldn't you know it, here comes Edward, a dictionary in hand.]

Well, it's a dictionary from 1950, so it's probably not up to date, though I suppose it'll have to---

[He sees the scene before him.]

...oh, what is this. I told you both to wait for me before you---

[He sees the words. He mad.]

...Slugger.

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

[Poker face.]

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

A spelling game.

[And that's as far as she gets before Edward returns.]

Then I believe you misspelled 'disgrace against humanity', Slugger.

[likescats.livejournal.com]

[Looks over at Edward.]

I THOUGHT WE COULD ONLY USE SEVEN LETTERS OR LESS.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

...is this some kind of a joke to you all?

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

[Slugger actually turns to look up at Eddie in a nonverbal implication of What does logic tell you, genius?]

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

[Susan places a hand on Slugger's shoulder. This is equivalent to, "Don't say anything stupid now."]

I can't say I know what this is supposed to be at all.

[likescats.livejournal.com]

I THINK IT'S A GAME.

I WASN'T AWARE IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ONE WITH JOKES THOUGH.

[Totally serious. Okay mostly serious. He does know more then he lets on.]

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[He looks almost desperately at all of them, but Slugger's face says it all.]

Just forget it. It was a stupid idea anyway. I'm fed up with trying to---

[He tosses the dictionary haphazardly onto the game board, sending tiles flying everywhere.]

...Merry Christmas.

[And with that, he storms out.]

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

...

[Edward is getting a decapitated hog's head for Christmas.

Slugger says nothing as the tiles scatter but the burst of negativity is titillating like an electric charge in the air. He really doesn't get what the big deal is but he hopes surmises that it could have something to do with frayed nerves.

He simply looks up at Susan because she obviously has an explanation for every little thing.]

[likescats.livejournal.com]

[He'll glance over at Susan as well.

Susan. Explain the human...]