Riddle 013: Spreading That Christmas Cheer [Action]

[questionauthority]

[Christmas Time is coming! Today, you'll probably find Edward in one of three locations.

A. At the Christmas Village, dressed in his little "Helper Elf" costume and freezing furiously. He does not look at all happy to be there.

B. Wandering through the town, dressed in a warm, green pea-coat, a jade scarf wrapped around his neck, just admiring the winter scenery.

C. Back at home, meticulously setting something up on the dining room table. Once he's finished, he'll call upstairs.]

Slugger? Susan? I'd like it if you could come to the dining room, please. ...Susan, you're free to call upon your Grandfather, too, if you like.

Comments

[likescats.livejournal.com]

[He'll glance over at Susan as well.

Susan. Explain the human...]

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

[Oh, bother. Why hadn't she just stayed upstairs? Susan rolls her eyes briefly to the ceiling before calmly beginning to collect the scattered tiles on the table. Though she pretends not to notice the staring, she speaks up after a few moments nonetheless.]

Well. It's a bit stupid of him to expect much from this 'family'.

[ . . . Pause.]

You can't ask Death and whatever you're supposed to be to sit down and play spelling games. I wouldn't even do it without a bribe.

[Another pause.]

Don't look so baffled.

He wants to be the quintessential family man, but he isn't going about it the right way, that's all. You understand, Grandfather -- His mind can't deal with non-humans, so he projects his own thought processes and imagines we'll behave exactly like he would. I'm sure it went along the lines of, "I loved this game when I was Slugger's age. If we play together, everything will be sunshines and rainbows and we'll come together as a 'family'. At the very least, dead things will stop appearing on my pillow."

And not even touching on his own psychological issues and his frustration from earlier today, I expect he thinks of himself as the odd one out -- Or rather, he's the only normal one and the rest of us are all quite mad, and it's up to him to bring us all into line. So he's off being mopey about how no one appreciates him.

Apologize to him later, Slugger. It was a nice thought.

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

...

[Susan? You're a goddess. What would they ever do without you? The pieces are all starting to fasten together now and make a little more sense.

Unfortunately, Slugger has no idea what to do about it nor does he really care to do anything. Humans will be humans, after all, with their silly expectations and ridiculous thought processes. It isn't like he cares what they--

...

Apologize? Slugger breathes a quiet sigh.]


Alright.


[He might as well experiment.]

[likescats.livejournal.com]

[They would cause chaos. Though in Death's cause not on purpose.

He nods as Susan explains this all.]

I SEE.

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

He's right, really. We're completely barmy, but I've decided there's no use fighting it here. And on that note, keep the dead animal parts outside, Slugger, or you're cleaning up the aftermath of your little pranks in the future.

[By this time, she's swept all the tiles into the bag and she's moved on to the tiles already in play.]

You would have gotten more points with 'self', I think.

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

I know. [This goes for both Susan's remarks.

He's been in possession of a hog's head for nearly a week. Outside, of course. Initially, Slugger was planning to put it in Eddie's bed, Godfather-style, but then he thought of Susan and decided otherwise. Anyway, it happens to look pretty funny on a snowman in the front yard.

Pushing back his chair, Slugger stands and stares momentarily at the game pieces before picking up a few lettered slates.]

...Should I go find him?

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

[She's actually mildly surprised that Slugger is so willing to listen to her on this. Of course, there's probably some sort of ulterior motive but she'll give him the benefit of the doubt for now.]

Let him stew for a bit to cool his head.

Where did this game even come from? Would you mind keeping it in your room, Slugger?

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

[Once the box is closed, Slugger picks it up and tucks it under his arm.]

...He gave it to me. As a ...present.

[Just thinking about it was bizarre enough; saying it is even weirder.]

[likescats.livejournal.com]

FOR HOGSWATCH?

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

I guess. [That or Christmas. Slugger doesn't know for sure.]

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[Edward's just sitting up in his room in silence. Door's closed.]

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

[Funny thing about doors in this house...

they don't keep anyone out. Slugger walks directly through without opening it. Head lowered and both hands in his pockets, he stands silent as a shadow watching Edward. The box is tucked beneath one arm.]

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[He just looks up at Slugger. Not even his phasing can surprise him at this point.]

...what?

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

[Not saying a word, Slugger drifts closer. At arms-length he pauses and holds up a fist as though there is something in his hand he wishes to deliver. He will stand there motionless in the same position for however long it takes for Edward to reach up and take it.]

...

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[After a bit of a staring contest, Edward lets out a low sigh. He extends his own hand outward.]

All right, fine. I'll bite.

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

[The fist opens and two small, wooden tiles drop onto Edward's palm -- one labeled H and the other labeled I.

He then stands back, quietly awaiting Edward's reaction while he builds up the effort needed to push aside the strangeness of this whole situation and thank Edward for the gift.]

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[Edward stares at the tiles in his palm. Brief silence as he just takes it in.]

...perhaps I overreacted a bit.

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

[A bit after Susan's cleaned everything up, she sits at the table across from her grandfather. She'll trust Slugger to do what -- hopefully -- will be the right thing.]

I can't even remember what I was doing before all of this. . . . Our plans are still on Hogswatch?

[likescats.livejournal.com]

I BELIEVE SO.

[He's still a little confused about what just happened but is chalking it up to humans being humans: ie: Confusing.]

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

[Which is precisely why Susan is distracting him with mundane affairs.]

And is there any particular preference for the meal? They don't actually have roast hog here, for whatever reason.

[likescats.livejournal.com]

I SUPPOSE ANYTHING WOULD BE FINE THEN.

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

Right, no particulars.

[FYI, Susan's never made anything more than a meal for herself and occasionally her charges. Guess who's been frantically flipping through cookbooks and making trial efforts whenever she's absolutely sure no one else is around?

. . . After a few moments of silence, Susan decides to return back to the Horribly Awkward Subject completely out of the blue.]

I don't suppose you ever had this sort of trouble with my father? Humans being human?

[likescats.livejournal.com]

....NOT THIS SORT OF TROUBLE.

...THERE WAS THAT MESS OF WARPING REALITY BUT I DON'T THINK THAT WAS SO MUCH A HUMAN THING AS AN APPRENTICE THING.

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

Yes, I can't imagine him making for a very effective Death. And I only remember visiting you a few times as a child, so you must have lost touch with each other after some time.

[likescats.livejournal.com]

....

YOUR PARENTS THOUGHT IT BEST, IF I WASN'T INVOLVED IN YOUR LIFE.

[Yay, more awkward.]