Edward Nigma | The Riddler (
questionauthority) wrote2010-11-25 03:33 pm
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Riddle 010: No Thanks, Milkman [Fail!Filter to Harley]
[You might hear the sounds of an attack turkey banging against a door. Edward's managed to trap it in his bedroom closet... for now.]
H-H-Harley?! Do you still have that mallet? I may need some help with---
[There's a sound like wood splintering. And breaking. Edward shrieks, accordingly.
Happy Thanksgiving, Mayfield.]
H-H-Harley?! Do you still have that mallet? I may need some help with---
[There's a sound like wood splintering. And breaking. Edward shrieks, accordingly.
Happy Thanksgiving, Mayfield.]
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And just whom is responsible for saving your face from this undead poultry monstrosity, Edward? Why, it is none other than your "SON". (It was an accident, really; he just felt like hitting something.)
Slugger rests the bat on his shoulder, grinning.]
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Th-thank you?
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[Oh "Father", you've screwed up royally this time. Susan's going to be pissed.]
This is worse than the liver.
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Wait. No, if anything, the liver is still worse! At least you could get rid of the turkey easily. That smell? It'll take at least a day to air that room out!
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Slugger will use this moment to sneak out of the room.]
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Where do you think you're going!? I'm not done with you yet. You honestly think I'll let you---
[He trails off at the sound of a low warbling. With wide eyes, he glances over at the fallen turkey, notices it pushing itself up off the ground like some kind of zombie. It doesn't take very long for the turkey to launch itself at Edward again. Edward squeals, racing out the door.]
Slugger! Slugger, wait!
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S-Slugger! Get it off!
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One would hope Edward grabs it before the turkey does.]
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Ha! Take that!
[He flips over, stabbing the bird repeatedly in the chest until it stops warbling. No sense in not going all out, since it's theoretically already a dead bird. When the bird's been mangled up enough, Eddie starts to take it easy, panting heavily.]
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Good show. Short but memorable.]
I'm not eating it. [It's been on the floor.]
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Nothing but bread inside, how could this be?]
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Nothing but bread? ...that's impossible. But then, Mayfield is all about the impossible, isn't it?
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[Whacks in all the pauses. Guess who's turkey was full of spiders.]
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It's the perfect time!
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[He's interrupted by the sound of glass smashing.]
Oh, Susan's going to be angry... If you manage to finish up with the spiders anytime soon, get over to my house. I'll---I'll help you out if I finish up first.
[No, he won't. But it's the thought that counts.]
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I can't! The doors are locked! I can't get out of the house!
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No, no, not the bed, not the---
[CRASH. SMASH.]
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An undead Turkey?
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[Whack of another dead spider]
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