Riddle 010: No Thanks, Milkman [Fail!Filter to Harley]

[questionauthority]

[You might hear the sounds of an attack turkey banging against a door. Edward's managed to trap it in his bedroom closet... for now.]

H-H-Harley?! Do you still have that mallet? I may need some help with---

[There's a sound like wood splintering. And breaking. Edward shrieks, accordingly.

Happy Thanksgiving, Mayfield.]

Comments

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

[All this while Slugger does... absolutely nothing to make things any less horrific. The only thing he's debating right now is which one of you to mash into a greasy pulp first.]

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[Oh, you're making him desperate. Riddler's flopping around on the ground, trying to wrestle this plucked bird off of him.]

S-Slugger! Get it off!

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

[Alas, Slugger has wandered away from this ridiculous pandemonium and into the kitchen. But he isn't gone long. Upon return, he drops a meat fork onto the floor and gives it a good nudge with his foot in Edward's direction.

One would hope Edward grabs it before the turkey does.]

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[He hears the metal SHIIIIINK of the fork sliding across the floor. With a surprisingly quick reflex, Riddler grabs it and stabs the turkey where its heart would be. It lets out a long SHRIEK of pain.]

Ha! Take that!

[He flips over, stabbing the bird repeatedly in the chest until it stops warbling. No sense in not going all out, since it's theoretically already a dead bird. When the bird's been mangled up enough, Eddie starts to take it easy, panting heavily.]

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

[A slow clap emanates from the entryway leading into the kitchen where Slugger is standing, leaning against a wall.

Good show. Short but memorable.]

I'm not eating it. [It's been on the floor.]

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[Is this his idea of "Father-Son Bonding?!" Eddie just kind of glances up at Slugger, out of breath.]

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

[Once it's evident that the turkey isn't getting up for round three, Slugger pushes away from the wall and ventures over to get a better look at it. Drawing a carving knife, he crouches down across from Eddie and begins to turn over and poke at the remains.

Nothing but bread inside, how could this be?]

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[Adjusting his bowler hat, Edward sits up and surveys the turkey's insides.]

Nothing but bread? ...that's impossible. But then, Mayfield is all about the impossible, isn't it?