questionauthority | Riddle 004: Stumped?

What? No, no, nothing like that! I---

Night after night, I've been pondering and pondering over this damned town. Trying to figure it all out... Why are we here? How did we get here? How do we get back? But no matter who I've talked to and whatever I've tried to find, nobody knows anything useful! And if I do find anything, it just raises more questions. It shouldn't be taking me this long to crack this case! It's... I... I'm stumped, Harley.

[Watching him, going to say something then pauses...and then pats him on the shoulder good naturedly]

Don't beat yourself up Eddie. Everyone's stumped here.

[Eddie shrugs her hand off.]

Well, I shouldn't be! I'm smarter than this! Better than this! If this were just another ordinary case in Gotham, I'd have solved it overnight, but this---I've lost far too much sleep over this.

Well have you talked to everyone yet?

I think Canada said they put a bunch of the stuff we found in Westport together. Like the note from Jane Smith and all that.

Besides. Maybe the town is trin' ta drive you crazy.

Not everyone, no.

I've only heard a small bit about Westport from Scout. Made a small note of it, but really, the post office was a higher priority at the time. ...who's Jane Smith?

...heh. It's certainly doing its best, I'll give it that.

She's one of the drones here. Only...she used to be someone else and the town messed with her head so much she just doesn't remember anymore. They found a note from her in Westport. It was....

[She wants to say horrible but then changes to a better word]

....really sad. It was like she was forgettin' who she was. One of my friends also said she acted real strange when she walked by her in the park playn' the guitar. My friend was playn' it I mean.

Then don't beat yourself up for not bein' able to figure it out. That's what the town wants you to do!

I...

Wait. You said she'd left a note in Westport? Was she... killed?

[All he really knows from the incident is that lots of people died.]

No...well I don't know if she was there. But she's still here in town. They just found a note written by her.

Hmm. Do you recall what it said?

[And suddenly we aren't so self-pitying anymore. Good job, Harls!]

I..think so.

It was like....she was writtn' down everything about herself, over and over so she wouldn't forget. Like "My name is"...Sam...Samantha!.. yeah. it said "My name is Samatha" "I play the violin", "my favorite colour is blue" "I am a musician". Like stuff about her, and her family. But...

....it got all scribbly and then at the very end it was all neat but she said she was Jane Smith born in Mayfield and she wanted to go cook and clean.

We found lots of stuff in Westport. There was a creepy video I found in a house that had some creepy lady talking about an infection and the men in the grey suits. And everything was a mess there like people had been fighten' a lot.

Bizarre...

[He starts pacing around a bit.]

Are the video or the note available to the public? I really should see these for myself.

I think we still got them all somewhere. I'd ask America about it, or Canada. They probably knows where they are if they don't have them.

I see. I'll keep that in mind. Is there anything else you can think of?

Um....
[Thinking]

I don't...Oh!

There was the time that the Mayor was replaced with the Milkman and we had to go and vote him back in because the Milkman was even worse!

And another time Grady mentioned how they were all stuck here as much as we were!

A replacement Mayor? [thinking aloud] So it seems that there's a bit of mutiny within Mayfield's political ranks. Unless the replacement wasn't necessarily the Milkman's choice. If Officer Grady's stated that they're stuck here just as much as us, then could that mean that they are also puppets? But if so, then who's at the top? Who---

[he groans, putting a hand to his forehead. He then smirks cynically.]

See what I mean?

Yup.

Like I said, the town wants you to go nuts. If you spend every moment tryn' ta figure it out you'll just drive yourself crazy like they want.

That's just it, though! If I don't solve the puzzle, who will? I don't think even Bats would be able to figure this place out.

[Riddle obsession relapse? No, of course not.]

Yeah....

Oh that reminds me. You're in comic books here!

...am I?

Yeah! They have comic books about Batman here.

...they're really wierd though and no one really looks right. But you're in some, and so is Mr. J and Ivy!

I doubt a silly comic book would be able to accurately capture my level of genius, anyway. What are the comics about? Batman beating us to a pulp, spouting off some witty one-liners?

Well, I'm not in any of them.

[Sulky]

But they're kinda like that. Like him tryin' ta solve your riddles and stuff. Robin's really wierd in them and the slangs really old.

....oh and according to them, Batman's, Bruce Wayne.

Bruce Wayne? I---That was it! I'd had a feeling there was something off about him! It all makes sense!

...assuming these comics have any sense of legitimacy to them, anyway.

Well according to some other guy I know. There are movies about Batman and they say he's Bruce Wayne. Plus, all of us...well you guys are in the comics with your right names.

...still kinda hard to believe. Oh and apparently Superman's some newspaper guy named Clark Kent.

A newspaper guy? Could it really be that simple? It seems there was more than meets the eye for Gotham's favorite billionaire playboy. (he chuckles a bit, reveling) Oh, am I going to have some fun when I get back to Gotham! Ol' Bats'll hardly expect this!

...strange that you weren't in there, though. For as long as I can remember, you've been tagging along with the Joker.

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