Edward Nigma | The Riddler (
questionauthority) wrote2012-02-10 10:25 pm
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mayfield_rpg

"Edward Nigma speaking. Riddle me this: What is it that demands an answer, yet never asks a question? Answer: A telephone, of course. Unfortunately for you, I've no further answer to give, as I'm currently occupied. Leave a message and, if you're lucky, I may do you the honor of returning your call. Ta-ta!"
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[And that's when Luke goes from incredibly enthusiastic to very disapproving. Puzzle!dad this is why you get into trouble and he's pretty sure gentlemen don't break into cars and steal them, even if they do belong to mindless drones.
Still, as much as he isn't thrilled about this idea, he'll still watches what Edward is doing with the strip of metal. Considering he and Slugger got lucky when they just so happened to find a unlocked car while fleeing from the Major and the Doctor, it couldn't hurt to know these things.]
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[At one point, Edward will stop what he's doing and frown at Luke in response.]
Don't look so disappointed. You're learning a practical life skill.
[Because that's what parenting's all about, right? Practical life skills. It doesn't take long before the car door clicks and the door opens. Eddie cautiously slides the slim jim out, setting it down in the passenger seat before leaning into the car and unlocking the passenger side door.]
There we go. You see how I was able to open it, don't you? It takes a bit of practice, but you've always been a fast study.
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Yes, I saw it just fine.
[And he'll move a bit closer to the car to get a better look. It was a really nice car, wasn't it.]
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[He takes his cane back from Luke, sticking it in the backseat before looping around the car and getting into the passenger seat.]
Then let's proceed to Lesson #2. And let's do so quickly.
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Still, he gets in and buckles up. Safety first, after all. He'll give another glance to Edward, expecting him to do the same.]
All right, we're in. Now what do we do?
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[The playfully helpful voice comes from behind. At some point between now and when Edward was jimmying open the lock, Slugger had slipped unseen into the backseat of this very special 4-seated Spyder.
And with the tip of Edward's cane, he angles the rear view mirror down to Luke's level, revealing the reflection of an unexpected third passenger.]
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Oof!
[And then he catches sight of Slugger in the backseat. Well, this is awkward.]
S-Slugger. When did you get here?
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Slugger's---Slugger's right, Luke. You'll have to adjust your mirrors so as not to have any blind spots on the road. And make sure you're properly seated, so as not to have any trouble reaching the pedals.
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Answer: this guy. He just continues to sit there chilling with a mildly amused expression.]
Need a phonebook?
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I'm not that short.
[Harumpf.
Still, Luke does as he's told and adjusts his seat and the mirrors so that he can see the road clearly. Not that it will matter here in a few minutes once they pull out of the parking lot.]
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[A quick check of his watch tells Edward that it's been little more than two minutes since the car's owner went into the Zemekis building. He buckles up, then rattles into a very rapid-fire explanation of some basic tips for keeping control of the vehicle: hands always at ten and two, only operating the pedals with one foot, checking the car's mirrors religiously, and all that good stuff.]
Now then. Are you ready to start the car?
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The car will pull out of the parking lot very, very slowly and jerking from time-to-time.]
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[And not a moment too soon. The door to the Zemekis building still has yet to open and, with any luck, they'll be long gone before the car's original owner pops back out.]
Let's head right on this road. Make sure you use your turn signal.
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The problem? Luke is on the wrong side of the road, facing the oncoming traffic.]
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Right. Right, Luke. In America we drive on the right side of the road!
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Left side in Tokyo.
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[He's used to being on the left side of the road as well, but sure enough here comes some cars heading towards them. Not to worry, Luke will handle this problem and quickly swerve to the right side of the road, just barely avoiding the cars in the right lane.]
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Better. That's---that's much better.
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One of us might not be coming out of this alive, just so you know.]
W-where are we going now?
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[Oh god oh god maybe this driving thing wasn't such a hot idea after all.]
O-or if you would prefer, we could always drive home.
[They'd walked a pretty long way to the Zemekis Corps. Offices after all. And right now, home is sounding pretty appealing.]
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Stop sign.
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[Whoa, stop sign?! Where?
SCREECH.]
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