Edward Nigma | The Riddler (
questionauthority) wrote2012-02-10 10:25 pm
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mayfield_rpg

"Edward Nigma speaking. Riddle me this: What is it that demands an answer, yet never asks a question? Answer: A telephone, of course. Unfortunately for you, I've no further answer to give, as I'm currently occupied. Leave a message and, if you're lucky, I may do you the honor of returning your call. Ta-ta!"
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I'm not that short.
[Harumpf.
Still, Luke does as he's told and adjusts his seat and the mirrors so that he can see the road clearly. Not that it will matter here in a few minutes once they pull out of the parking lot.]
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[A quick check of his watch tells Edward that it's been little more than two minutes since the car's owner went into the Zemekis building. He buckles up, then rattles into a very rapid-fire explanation of some basic tips for keeping control of the vehicle: hands always at ten and two, only operating the pedals with one foot, checking the car's mirrors religiously, and all that good stuff.]
Now then. Are you ready to start the car?
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The car will pull out of the parking lot very, very slowly and jerking from time-to-time.]
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[And not a moment too soon. The door to the Zemekis building still has yet to open and, with any luck, they'll be long gone before the car's original owner pops back out.]
Let's head right on this road. Make sure you use your turn signal.
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The problem? Luke is on the wrong side of the road, facing the oncoming traffic.]
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Right. Right, Luke. In America we drive on the right side of the road!
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Left side in Tokyo.
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[He's used to being on the left side of the road as well, but sure enough here comes some cars heading towards them. Not to worry, Luke will handle this problem and quickly swerve to the right side of the road, just barely avoiding the cars in the right lane.]
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Better. That's---that's much better.
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One of us might not be coming out of this alive, just so you know.]
W-where are we going now?
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[Oh god oh god maybe this driving thing wasn't such a hot idea after all.]
O-or if you would prefer, we could always drive home.
[They'd walked a pretty long way to the Zemekis Corps. Offices after all. And right now, home is sounding pretty appealing.]
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Stop sign.
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[Whoa, stop sign?! Where?
SCREECH.]
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Blasted--- [He seethes, searching for and eventually finding the release for the roof, allowing it to sink back and turn their ride into a convertible. There. Now then, calm down, Edward.]
All right. To the bookstore, then.
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Slugger readjusts his cap and settles back into his seat after the minor inconvenience.]
Then ice cream?
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I just can't seem to get the hang of-
[Oh, ice cream? Luke immediately jumps on that subject.]
Can we get ice cream afterwards? ...I don't have to be the one to drive for that one.
[Luckily for you guys, Luke's driving is getting slightly smoother. He's still incredibly slow, but he seems to be calming down with the constant jerky movements.]
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...Very well. If you like, we can all stop for ice cream afterwards. And if---[God help them.]---you feel comfortable enough to drive there as well, then by all means, you can.
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He could technically steal any car he wanted in Mayfield and drive it around to his heart's content. But for unexplained reasons, he would prefer at least once, for someone to be there with him.]
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[And off they go to the bookstore! Slowly. Very very slowly.]
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[Well, this drive could do with a bit of music, couldn't it? Eddie reaches forward and switches on the radio, and some popular music of the era begins to play.]
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That light's fuchsia. Do we still have to stop?
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[And Luke's starting to slow down, thankfully not coming to a sudden halt like last time.]
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