questionauthority | Riddle 036: What is it that nobody wants to have, yet nobody wants to lose?

[A - ACTION - Hospital.

On an ordinary day, during an ordinary visit to the hospital (perhaps to see Ema), the Riddler winds up running into another familiar face. But there's something quite different about him today. He's got that cheery look in his eyes, a dopey smile that's been plastered onto his face. But unlike his ordinary childish facade, the look on Bruce Wayne's face is eerily... vacant. Empty.

Question: What happens when you discover that the man who's outwitted you, outmatched you, and beaten you to an absolute pulp more times than you can count has been turned into nothing more than a brainless automaton with no mind or free will to call his own?

Answer: Grin like a madman and gloat when nobody else is around.]

So you've failed at last. Disappointing, but not entirely unexpected. After all, who can truly hold a candle to my genius? Not you, Dark Knight. [He laughs.]

If only you could see yourself now. The World's Greatest Detective? Hardly.

Question:

"What is greater than God? More evil than the Devil himself?
The rich need it, the poor have it, and if you eat it you'll die?"

Answer: Nothing. You're nothing now. You've lost. And I, Edward Nigma, have finally---

[Won? ...no. No, he hasn't. Mayfield did this to him. Mayfield took the Batman and broke him down into nothing. Not the Riddler. This... isn't his victory. This was never a victory at all. And as soon as he realizes that, Edward's wide smirk fades into a venomous glare. Shoving the husk he once called his archnemesis out of his way, he moves to depart the hospital and put as much distance between himself and that... thing as he possibly can.]

[B - PHONE - Unfiltered. The winning edge is completely gone from his voice now. He sounds strangely empty.]

Riddle me this. What is the one thing we have all seen and will never see again?

[C - ACTION - 726 Anderson Lane / The Hall of Doom.

Whether he's sitting in the kitchen tinkering around with a strange contraption he's received in the mail or in the empty conference room of the Hall of Doom, the Riddler is uncharacteristically quiet this evening. Bother him?]

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[There comes a knock from the door to the conference room. Hovering in the entryway, Slugger peers curiously in at Edward. Lately, he's been doing strange things such as knocking on doors rather than simply appearing abruptly from thin air and not breaking into Edward's office or purposely misplacing his belongings or flushing the toilet while Edward is in the shower.]

[Edward's definitely noticed the shift in Slugger's behavior over the past several weeks. And oddly enough? It's somewhat distressing for reasons unexplainable. And instead of showing displeasure at the little monster or giving him a foul look, Eddie glances up and motions for him to enter with a slight inclination of his head.]

Come in, Slugger.

[Slugger enters, stopping to close the doors behind him should Lex Luthor or anyone else still be wandering around the premise, then approaches the end of the conference table. He'll first eye the mechanism Edward is playing with in his hands. Whatever it is, it looks sort of like a game.]

The town gave that back to you?

[He nods.]

I suppose it's only fair, given that it also took something away.

[And by "something" he knows you mean "someone".]

Who?

[No point in trying to hide it from Slugger. He finds out most of Edward's secrets on his own, anyway.]

Batman.

[Slugger stares at his hand as he rests it on the back of a chair. He'd thought Edward would look happier about this, but perhaps there was something more to his relationship with the Batman than what met the eye.]

I thought you hated him.

[He stops working on the machine, staring at nothing in particular.]

I do. Believe me, I do. But this isn't how it was supposed to happen. I was supposed to find a way out before he could. I was supposed to beat him.

...but they've gone and ruined that now. Haven't they?

[There's nothing he can say to that except 'yes, they have', so he won't say anything at all and will instead pull out a chair to seat himself. But there is something else Slugger came down here to say. After a moment spent sitting quietly with his gaze fixed nowhere in particular, he'll speak.]

About last week...

[Already, he's shrinking in his seat at the thought of some of the things he'd done.]

What about it?

[It was a rather messy, complicated week. Between the evil duplicates running around, the townspeople growing and shrinking, and the whole Bela Lugosi-esque fiasco that erupted after Edward had thought his entire family to be dead...]

When we attacked you... I didn't mean to.

[There. He said it.]

...

[Is Slugger... apologizing? Well, this is definitely a first.]

Of course you didn't. I'm certain you didn't intend for any of this past week to happen at all.

[There's a first time for everything. Slugger briefly glances up.]

I just wanted you to know.

[That said, he'll begin to push away from the table.]

Slugger.

[The word leaves his mouth without him even realizing it. A beat.]

...you can stay if you like. [Despite avoiding his fake!family for much of the day---hell, for most of the week since they attacked him only one day prior to Halloween---Edward doesn't want to be alone right now.]

...

[A silent moment passes in which Slugger stares at Edward in surprise. He was about to push himself up from the chair but now he'll ease back into it. Soon his gaze falls on the contraption in Edward's hands again; it obviously spells something, though he can't see what. Knowing Edward, it probably has a specific purpose.]

You left clues on it?

[He nods.]

It was originally built as a means to deliver my riddles. Assuming that whoever has their hands on it is smart enough, they can turn the dials in order to spell out the proper answer.

[Leaning a bit closer, Slugger peers curiously at it for another moment. He knows he shouldn't and that he may be ridiculed for asking, but a part of him wants to try it for himself.]

...Can I try?

...you want to try it?

[Eddie's not saying it to ridicule the boy, he's just surprised that Slugger's actually taking an interest in his riddles for a change. He's certainly not going to refuse him.] By all means, go ahead.

[He nudges the machine over to Slugger, and it roars to life.]

Rrrrrrrrrrriddle me this. Hit me hard and I may crack. But you'll never stop me from staring ba-ba-ba-back. What am I?

[It didn't sound as though Eddie was being sarcastic, as far as Slugger could tell, so he figures it's safe to try. Picking it up, he busies himself by inspecting the machine while he thinks, turning it over and around in his hands. Then, he sits staring at the letters, his thumb idly turning one of the dials as he thinks...]

[Edward watches quietly. It's the first time Slugger's ever really attempted to solve one of his riddles. After a moment or so, he decides to ask:]

Well? Think you know the answer?

[After debating with himself for another minute, Slugger's thumbs begin to turn the dials with purpose as he enters his answer. He doesn't know if it's correct but it fits given the spaces available.

When finished, he finally passes the riddle machine back to Edward with the dials arranged to spell the word M-I-R-R-O-R.]

That's... correct. The answer is, indeed, "a mirror."

[First, Slugger looks just as surprised as Edward does to learn he was right, but then he breathes a sigh of relief and relaxes into his seat, pleased. He's managed not to make himself look like an idiot. Luck is on his side today.]

Riddle 036: What is it that nobody wants to have, yet nobody wants to lose?

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