Riddle 001: Where am I?

[questionauthority]

[Edward groans blearily and rubs his eyes, having fallen asleep in a squashy armchair in the corner of his new bedroom. He looks around, briefly. His eyes slowly go wide as he's bombarded with thoughts. This isn't my office. He looks down at himself. These aren't my clothes. He glances up at his desk, which feature pictures of a group of young children, a young woman, and... himself?! That can't be me. He pushes himself up, heading over towards the window. One peek outside and his eyes go wider. This certainly isn't Gotham!

He darts out of his bedroom and starts searching the house for a computer, a phone, an exit, something. He moves quickly, unsure if he's been abducted by anyone. Finally, he comes across an old rotary phone. Compulsively, he reaches for the phone, dials a number, and speaks into it with an urgent, hushed whisper.]

Gotham City Police Department? This is Edward Nigma, get Commissioner Gordon on the line! This is incredibly urgent.

Comments

[crazyclownwoman.livejournal.com]

Oh that. This place is insane. And not the fun kind either! It takes people from all sorts of different worlds and times and stuff like that. It even puts us in fake families and tries ta' make us think we've been here forever.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

It's strange enough to think that this town has taken people from all over the world! But different worlds? Different times? I---never mind. Where are you?

[crazyclownwoman.livejournal.com]

I'm at 1249 Williams Road.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

Let's see, I'm at... one second.

[He sets the phone down on the table and looks outside at his mailbox. He moves quickly back to the phone.]

...1335 Benny Road. Question. How far away is your house from here?

[crazyclownwoman.livejournal.com]

Um....Benny Road...Oh! That's Vince's street. I know that one. It's a few blocks away from here. All the houses look the same here though so it's hard to tell.

[How many times has she gotten lost here...don't ask.] Is there any normal people in your house or all they all drones?

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

They seem normal, yes.

[About as normal as a robot, a forest spirit, a bug, and a karate instructor from NY can get]

Though I haven't met them all just yet.

[crazyclownwoman.livejournal.com]

That's good! The drones are annoying.

So you're at 1335? I'll be there in a minute! Alright?

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

I---Very well. I'll be waiting.

[He hangs up, drums his fingers on the tabletop.]

[crazyclownwoman.livejournal.com]

[And a bit later she'll be knocking on the door. She's wearing normal clothes but they're much more modern then the stuff here.]

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[At the sound of the knock, Edward moves quickly to the door but opens it cautiously. She still looks the same as she did when last he saw her. Hard to believe she's supposedly been here for a whole year.]

...Hello.

[crazyclownwoman.livejournal.com]

[Yeah you're getting a huge hug now.]

Eddie! I missed you guys so much! How's everyone in Arkham been doing?

[Thinks you're still in Arkham XD]

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

Ooof!

[The hug caught him a bit off-guard, but he catches his breath and rolls with it.]

Arkham? Uh... fine, I suppose. I haven't been there in some time, so---

[Now that he's reformed and all.]

[crazyclownwoman.livejournal.com]

Huh? But you were in there when I came here? Did you break out again?

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

Break out? Why would I be---

[Ohhhhhh. It hits him. This is going to be awkward.]

Why don't you come inside, Harley? It looks like we've got a lot of catching up to do.

[He steps back to invite her in.]

[crazyclownwoman.livejournal.com]

Huh? Alright...

[Walks into the house. Now confused..]

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[He migrates into the living room and takes a seat.]

[crazyclownwoman.livejournal.com]

[And she sits on the coach in the room. Looking over at him.]

What's up Eddie?

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

Let me ask you something. Before you came here, when you were still in Gotham... was I still a criminal?

[Though he's sure he knows the answer already.]

[crazyclownwoman.livejournal.com]

Uh yeah...

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

I thought as much. ...a lot's changed in Gotham, Harley.

I'm not a criminal anymore. I've gone straight.

[crazyclownwoman.livejournal.com]

.....what?

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

You heard me right. I'm a private detective now.

[crazyclownwoman.livejournal.com]

......

[just...staring in shock, horror...surprise...]


...When did that happen?!!

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

About a year or so ago.

[He hesitates, wondering if he should let her know...]

You've reformed, too.

[crazyclownwoman.livejournal.com]

.....


[I'm sorry....what?]



....you're jokin'.