Riddle 001: Where am I?

[questionauthority]

[Edward groans blearily and rubs his eyes, having fallen asleep in a squashy armchair in the corner of his new bedroom. He looks around, briefly. His eyes slowly go wide as he's bombarded with thoughts. This isn't my office. He looks down at himself. These aren't my clothes. He glances up at his desk, which feature pictures of a group of young children, a young woman, and... himself?! That can't be me. He pushes himself up, heading over towards the window. One peek outside and his eyes go wider. This certainly isn't Gotham!

He darts out of his bedroom and starts searching the house for a computer, a phone, an exit, something. He moves quickly, unsure if he's been abducted by anyone. Finally, he comes across an old rotary phone. Compulsively, he reaches for the phone, dials a number, and speaks into it with an urgent, hushed whisper.]

Gotham City Police Department? This is Edward Nigma, get Commissioner Gordon on the line! This is incredibly urgent.

Comments

[crazyclownwoman.livejournal.com]

Huh? But you were in there when I came here? Did you break out again?

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

Break out? Why would I be---

[Ohhhhhh. It hits him. This is going to be awkward.]

Why don't you come inside, Harley? It looks like we've got a lot of catching up to do.

[He steps back to invite her in.]

[crazyclownwoman.livejournal.com]

Huh? Alright...

[Walks into the house. Now confused..]

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[He migrates into the living room and takes a seat.]

[crazyclownwoman.livejournal.com]

[And she sits on the coach in the room. Looking over at him.]

What's up Eddie?

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

Let me ask you something. Before you came here, when you were still in Gotham... was I still a criminal?

[Though he's sure he knows the answer already.]

[crazyclownwoman.livejournal.com]

Uh yeah...

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

I thought as much. ...a lot's changed in Gotham, Harley.

I'm not a criminal anymore. I've gone straight.

[crazyclownwoman.livejournal.com]

.....what?

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

You heard me right. I'm a private detective now.

[crazyclownwoman.livejournal.com]

......

[just...staring in shock, horror...surprise...]


...When did that happen?!!

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

About a year or so ago.

[He hesitates, wondering if he should let her know...]

You've reformed, too.

[crazyclownwoman.livejournal.com]

.....


[I'm sorry....what?]



....you're jokin'.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

I'm not. Besides, you know that jokes aren't my forte, Harley.

[crazyclownwoman.livejournal.com]

Yeah....

....

[Is kinda just...brain broken]

Um...do you know....why I'm...reformed?

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

I don't believe you'd specifically told me why, but I know that you, Selina, and Pam have been trying to do better for some time now. ...trying being the key word.

[crazyclownwoman.livejournal.com]

....Me and Red are hanging out with Selina?

[Blink]

....what about Mr. J?

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

After you and Pamela took advantage of my hospitality and destroyed my apartment, yes, you did move in with Selina.

[Bitter? No. ...well, maybe a little. As for the Joker.]

He... hasn't been around for some time. Not even Bats knows where he is.

[crazyclownwoman.livejournal.com]

.....oh.

[This is just....a lot to take in. Also totally ignoring that first bit.]

....the futures weird.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[He massages the bridge of his nose and sighs.]

You can say that again.

[crazyclownwoman.livejournal.com]

Yeah...

Well anyway, welcome to Mayfield. You're trapped with the rest of us here!

This place is pretty nuts too. Has anyone told you about it yet?

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

My quote-unquote "wife" told me a good deal already. Getting back to Gotham won't be easy.

[crazyclownwoman.livejournal.com]

Tell me about it.

So your wifes normal? That's good. What's her name?

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

Alice. She's a karate instructor from New York.

I'm assuming you have a husband here?

[crazyclownwoman.livejournal.com]

Yeah. He's a nice guy. His names Jolt. Apparently he used to be a giant Robot before comi...

Did you say Alice? Long brown hair...Alice?