Riddle 011: Emphasis on CROSS in "Crossword"

[questionauthority]

[Edward's busily attending to a crossword puzzle in the kitchen. He muses over it before groaning in frustration and grabbing the phone.]

Has anyone else found the Daily Crosswords in Mayfield far too simple? Literally, for the last three days in a row, I've been finding them incredibly underwhelming. Come on now, Mayfield. Yesterday was Saturday, and what did we get? Tuesday quality. Garbage. Even the Gotham Gazette's Mondays could be considered more of a challenge than this!

Does anyone happen to know who even runs the paper? [He groans.]

[Filter to Joker, Harley, and Pam:]

I'm still in need of some assistance, old friends. Joker? Pam? Have you changed your minds?

[Also, action, to Susan:]

Susan! Might I have a word with you?

Comments

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

Either way, the more you react to his prodding, the worse he'll behave. Put your foot down -- don't try to hurt him, but you could do with some more confidence.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

Believe me, I wouldn't want to do that to him. I'm not my father.

[...did that just slip out?]

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

[Daddy issues, Riddler? Susan merely raises an eyebrow at that. There are some things even she won't dare venture into without express permission.]

I'll have a talk with him if you need me to, though I'd prefer to see you two resolve it yourselves.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[Oh, you don't know the half of it, Susan.]

No, no. You're right. This is the sort of thing I should do myself.

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

Good.

And this might be a good time to mention that he isn't precisely human. Though you may have guessed already.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

...you know, that honestly doesn't surprise me. [sighs] It certainly explains how he can just pop in from nowhere.

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

[Aren't you lucky your wife can do it, too?]

He once told me that he exists for the purpose of bringing death to those who seek it. But keep that to yourself.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[So, so lucky.]

I doubt I'd be able to find an opportune moment in conversation to bring that sort of thing up idly, anyway.

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

It'd certainly be an interesting change of topic. And I bring it up only because I don't know if he won't try and hurt you. I doubt it, but I'll keep an eye on him a little longer.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

Much appreciated, Susan. I---well. Let's just say that Nigmas don't make for very good parents.

[There he goes again, saying way more than he should.]

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

Hm. I've often thought prospective parents ought to be tested before they have children. Besides the, ah. Physical examination, of course.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

Often enough, they pass the physical examination without even realizing they've taken it.

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

Odd how those usually work out the worst of all.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

Quite odd, indeed.

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

Let me know how the situation develops with Slugger. I'm sure you're up to the task.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

I'll be sure to keep you posted.

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

It will be much easier on me to live in a household where I don't have to clean bits of liver or kidney or whatever it was off the bed.

So good luck.