Edward Nigma | The Riddler (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
questionauthority) wrote2011-09-10 05:52 pm
questionauthority) wrote2011-09-10 05:52 pm
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Riddle 034: We don't need no education [Backdated to the First Day of School]
[Well, it's that time of year once again, isn't it? School's back in session. Oh, joy. Throughout the day, there's a good chance you'll bump into the Riddler in a few locations...
A. ACTION - Mayfield High School, Ethics Classroom, Morning
The words "Mr. Nigma" are written up on the blackboard. Yep. You heard that right. Edward Nigma, Ethics Teacher. When his first class has seated themselves, he'll rise up out of his chair and begin to address them:]
Life's just full of questions, isn't it? And in a place like Mayfield especially, you're going to have to ask yourself plenty of difficult questions.
[He approaches the blackboard, writing up a series of questions, reciting them aloud as he writes:
"Have you ever had to make a difficult decision?"
"Were you satisfied with the outcome, or do you still have regrets?"
He turns to his class, looking at them expectantly.]
Well?
[B. ACTION - Mayfield High School, Teacher's Lounge, Afternoon
He'll be sitting here in between classes, smoking a cigarette and working on a crossword from time to time.
C. PHONE - Filtered to Batman, Shortly After School]
Well, well, Dark Knight. It seems we're long overdue for a little chat, aren't we?
[D. PHONE - Filtered to Ema Skye, Late Afternoon]
Question: What are you up to this evening?
A. ACTION - Mayfield High School, Ethics Classroom, Morning
The words "Mr. Nigma" are written up on the blackboard. Yep. You heard that right. Edward Nigma, Ethics Teacher. When his first class has seated themselves, he'll rise up out of his chair and begin to address them:]
Life's just full of questions, isn't it? And in a place like Mayfield especially, you're going to have to ask yourself plenty of difficult questions.
[He approaches the blackboard, writing up a series of questions, reciting them aloud as he writes:
"Have you ever had to make a difficult decision?"
"Were you satisfied with the outcome, or do you still have regrets?"
He turns to his class, looking at them expectantly.]
Well?
[B. ACTION - Mayfield High School, Teacher's Lounge, Afternoon
He'll be sitting here in between classes, smoking a cigarette and working on a crossword from time to time.
C. PHONE - Filtered to Batman, Shortly After School]
Well, well, Dark Knight. It seems we're long overdue for a little chat, aren't we?
[D. PHONE - Filtered to Ema Skye, Late Afternoon]
Question: What are you up to this evening?
B
don't ask questions. there is no place in Mayfield Pinkie cannot infiltrate.]
Hi Mister Edward! So you're at your job, huh??? This is your job?? Is it? Cool! Really cool! I guess you're a teacher and this is a school! Neat! Why is it so smoky in here? Am I allowed here? I don't go to school any more, I work at Sugarcube Corner. But school is really fun and I enjoy it and what subject do you teach? I bet you are a great teacher! Oh, oh, I know, I bet you teach... riddles! Hehehehe, just kidding! That can't be a real class! When do you finish work? What's for dinner? Can I make dinner? Can I help you barbecue? I'll prepare dessert! Oh and now that it's September it's going to be fall soon and I'm gonna knit sweaters! Your favorite color is green right?? So I should make you a green sweater?? I'm making Gummy a green sweater, too! You guys can match. Miss Susan's will be pink 'cause I think she'd look great in pink and mine will be pink too and all of us will match! Anyway my friend Fluttershy got here recently and I wanted to host a party. So I guess I'm asking you! I will only need the living room, hehe! Also you're invited! It's a sleepover and we're going to tell scary stories and play games like musical chairs! It will be really fun! Oh, oh, Mister Edward, were you at that hotel? I was at the carnival! It was great! Except I got on the ferris wheel and it wouldn't let me go and Gummy wasn't there but it was okay because I won a prize! Also about the sleepover, can you invite Miss Ema too? I would like that a lot!
[all of the above has seemingly been said without breathing.]
no subject
Wait. So you want to throw a party for your friends. And these friends are also ponies. Right?
[The last thing he needs in this house is more Pinkie Pies.]
no subject
[luckily for the entire world, Pinkie is the craziest. the rest are mroe tolerable.]
no subject
...have you already asked Susan? [She'll veto this. She's the smart one.
But he's the smarter one.]no subject
Yes.
[Edward, you taught the pony how to lie.
You will soon begin regretting it.]
no subject
And she said it was all right...? [Come on, Susan, don't let him down.]
no subject
No.
But what does Pinkie say?]
Yeppy-peppy!
[You have created a monster.
It is cute. It is pink. It bounces. There are blue and yellow balloons on its flank. It has a high-pitched voice and it loves to throw parties.
Its name is Pinkie Pie.
And now it knows how to lie.]
no subject
Did she honestly...? [The most reluctant groan ever.] Fine, then.
no subject
Yay! It's gonna be so fun and I'm sure you'll get along great with my friends!! They are all really nice!