Riddle 001: Where am I?

[questionauthority]

[Edward groans blearily and rubs his eyes, having fallen asleep in a squashy armchair in the corner of his new bedroom. He looks around, briefly. His eyes slowly go wide as he's bombarded with thoughts. This isn't my office. He looks down at himself. These aren't my clothes. He glances up at his desk, which feature pictures of a group of young children, a young woman, and... himself?! That can't be me. He pushes himself up, heading over towards the window. One peek outside and his eyes go wider. This certainly isn't Gotham!

He darts out of his bedroom and starts searching the house for a computer, a phone, an exit, something. He moves quickly, unsure if he's been abducted by anyone. Finally, he comes across an old rotary phone. Compulsively, he reaches for the phone, dials a number, and speaks into it with an urgent, hushed whisper.]

Gotham City Police Department? This is Edward Nigma, get Commissioner Gordon on the line! This is incredibly urgent.

Comments

[not-oflegend.livejournal.com]

No.

I'm pretty used to absurd by now.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

Nobody knows?!

[not-oflegend.livejournal.com]

Not that I'm aware of. We all just woke up here.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[Huh. Looks like quite the conundrum unfolding before him. The last thing he remembered before waking up was that unfortunate fiasco with Harley, Selina, and Pam. Now he was in another town, his clothes had been replaced, the technology seemed almost archaic, and the photographs had---WAIT. Photographs.]

I've seen you before. The photographs. Upstairs.

[not-oflegend.livejournal.com]

Yeah, they do that.

Whoever is keeping us here expects us to live like happy families. They've placed you as the new father/husband of this house.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

Of all the--- Happy families? Somehow I highly doubt that everyone else that was brought here is too keen to jump on board with that.

[not-oflegend.livejournal.com]

Of course not. We just make the best of the living arrangements until we can find a way out.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[He nods. Some of his familiar self-assuredness comes back to him as he smirks.]

If there's one thing I know, it's that every puzzle has an answer. There's bound to be a way.

[not-oflegend.livejournal.com]

Trust me, we're all looking.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[More to himself than to Alice.]

A town that abducts its citizens with no way out? I'm sure I can find a way to solve this. Heh. What am I saying? I will figure this out. I'd hardly be able to call myself a detective, otherwise.

[not-oflegend.livejournal.com]

Right, well when you get it all figured out, be sure to let the rest of us know, okay?

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes, yes, of course.

[not-oflegend.livejournal.com]

[She goes into the kitchen to get a glass of water. She calls back to him.]

I take it you haven't met "the kids" yet, right?

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[He saw about three children in the photos, if he recalled correctly. Still hard to believe that whoever abducted him suddenly expected him to be father to three children.]

I saw them in the photos, but I haven't met them yet, no. You're the first I've met face-to-face.

[He follows after her, deciding to explore his new house.]

What are they like?

[not-oflegend.livejournal.com]

Well, Massimo is a robot. He's pretty sweet and looks after the younger kids around here.

Wriggle is...well, she says she's a bug, but I'm not really sure how that works. She's very shy so you better not freak her out.

Aisling is the newest. She was a forest spirit in her home. She's very smart and like learning about everything here.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

A robot, a bug, and a forest spirit.

[Bizarre. Then again, Eddie's spent plenty of time running through the city with a man who dresses like a bat. Edward shrugs.]

And what about you, Alice? Tell me a bit about yourself.

[not-oflegend.livejournal.com]

Nothing really special about me. I came from New York where I taught karate, and now I'm here.

[Of course that isn't including her trip to Wonderland.]

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

How long have you been here?

[Questions, questions, questions.]

[not-oflegend.livejournal.com]

A few months now. Since January.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

Mm.

[He moves to the refrigerator and peeks inside for something to drink. A quick realization and he pokes his head back out.]

Someone told me on the phone not to drink the milk...

[not-oflegend.livejournal.com]

Ah.

Yeah...sometimes it's poisoned. The milkman doesn't like us very much.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[Several questions pop into his head. Who is the milkman? Does he have any relation to the mayor or this Officer Grady? But he figures the most important question is...]

I can assume the rest of this is safe, though, yes?

[not-oflegend.livejournal.com]

For now.

It's really better not to assume anything here. They change the rules all the time.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[He nods, taking a bottle of orange juice from the refrigerator and closing the door. He glances around the kitchen, quickly finding himself a glass and pouring himself a drink.]

The woman on the phone said something along those lines, too.

[not-oflegend.livejournal.com]

I'm sure anyone else stuck here would tell you the same.